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Imam Al-Ghazali writes in his book Ihyd' (Uloom ad-Deem14 If a man has more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to be just with them, without being inclined towards any one of them. If he travels, and seeks the company of one of his wives during this journey, he should draw lots for which one of his wives should accompany him, as the Prophet (SM) used to do.15 Moreover, if it so happens that a wife misses her right to a night with him, then the husband should make up for it by spending an extra night with her, and this compensation is obligatory for him.
Hence, the husband should also be fair with how much pocket money he gives to each and how many nights he spends with each of them. As for love and sexual intercourse, that is something beyond his control, which is why Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’an:
[سورة النساء:١٢٩] وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ وَإِن تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا
(You will never be able to deal perfectly justly between your wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much toward one of them [by giving her more of your time and provision] so as to leave the other hanging [neither divorced nor yet truly married]. And if you do right, and fear Allah, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.)16 (Qur'an 4: 129)
This refers to being just with regards to one's sexual desire and the inclination of one's heart, and this is where inequality and injustice will take place.16 The Prophet (SM) would treat his wives equally with regards to how much money he gave them or how many nights he spent with them, but even he said: O Allah ! I struggle to be fair regarding that which I possess. However, I do not have any control over that which you possess, and I do not (that is, my heart).17
May my father and my mother be sacrificed for you, O Muhammad!
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